Posted by Colleen on Dec 31, 2009 in
New Years 2009 started off pretty rough. Actually, the months of February thru May were filled with loss. Loss of friends, loss of a podcast, “loss” of calling NY my “home,” loss of my dear dog, loss of my self-confidence when I couldn’t find a job and struggled with NuNews, etc. But where there’s loss, there’s gain: Gaining new friends, gaining a new podcast, gaining a spiffy new apartment, gaining a new city to explore, gaining 2 new media projects, gaining my “freedom,” gaining a lovely little kitty. June, July, August, September all rocked - Sara’s bachelorette party, Comic Con, Sara & TJ’s wedding, etc. October brought new experiences: I transferred offices from Duke University Medical Center to Duke Raleigh & took on a lot of new responsibilities and my parents/grandparents finally came to visit me in Raleigh. November, & December have been all about the goals: trying to get back in shape for early 2010 trips Hawaii and London, trying to plan 2010 for nuDia.tv & Yublog.org, and trying to figure out how one saves money properly when they’re not living at home. All in all, 2009 was a very, very action packed year.
2010 is already lined up to be quite awesome though. Hopefully, all the changes that made the start of 2009 so rough are finished and now it’s time to at least cruise for a little while. In January 2010, we’re going to Hawaii for the Sunset on the Beach premiere of Lost’s final season. In February 2010, my parents, Katelyn & I are going to visit Christie in London for 8 days. In March 2010, there’s Jay & Jack’s 30 Hour Marathon Podcast for Autism Speaks, which I’m excited for again. May 2010, there’s the Lost finale party in Los Angeles, California. July 2010 is Comic Con. Man, I’m so fortunate to have all of these wonderful things to look forward to in the upcoming year. I’m stoked.
I’ll end the year by doing something I used to do back in the early days of blogging. I got the concept from my good friend Annie back in college. You make a list of 10-20 people and write something you’ve wanted to say to them but do it anonymously. You never have to reveal who you are talking to. I used to have like 20 people on my list, but this year, I kept it small. So here goes. Goodbye, 2009. Hello, 2010!
1. I hope you take a good look at yourself and seriously jump start your stalled life because this is not how it was supposed to be.
2. Perhaps in 2010, we’ll be a little more comfortable.
3. I don’t appreciate being lied to and I don’t owe you any loyalty so don’t expect it.
4. I hope you can get passed your issue & we can be friends instead of just friendly.
5. Out of everything I left behind in NY, I miss you the most.
6. It was my sincere pleasure to get to meet you and become friends with you in 2009!!
7. My prayer for you in 2010 is you stop lying to yourself and everyone else. It’s more than okay to accept who you are because it’s not as hidden as you think it is and people still like & accept you regardless. Once you let that terrifying thought breathe, I think everything else holding you back will come a lot easier.
8. My surprise new friends of 2009, you’re not only entertaining and talented, you’re good friends and you rock!
9. Not enough words to say everything you do for me but I love you, plain and simple.
10. Thank you so much for always putting up with my temper tantrums. I know I’m not easy (TWSS)!
Posted by Colleen on Dec 31, 2008 in
New Years,
Ramble/Ponder/Rant,
Reflecting/emo What’s to say about the end of 2008? It was a year that started out sorta crappy (He Who Shall Not Be Named & [edited so that no one comes after me legally, physically or otherwise] then turned liberating (
Dobby Colleen is freeeeee!) then was fun (roadtrips to North Carolina) then depressing (not having a job for more than 2 weeks made me bored out of my mind) then fun (yay finding a job again) then depressing (moving out of Astoria & back to Long Island meh) then super fun (the cruise & the rest of my AWESOME summer, including but not limited to the James Taylor concert, 4th of July, the wedding on July 5th, my parents’ surprise 25th anniversary party, working from home as gas prices were out of control, Comic Con, randomly flying to Raleigh just to see “The Dark Knight” in IMAX, etc.) then stabled out (starting a new job in August & settling into the day-to-day life with trips to Raleigh every 2-3 weeks).
It certainly was just as action packed and roller-coaster a year as 2006 & 2007 were. Geez, I can’t remember a stable year since before I graduated college. But I’ve had some amazing things happen the past two years, so I can’t complain (much).
So what does 2009 hold for me? Endings and new beginnings. Things that I’ve been doing for years just aren’t fun for me anymore and it’s (heartbreakingly) time to move on. Stuff I thought I wanted to do (career-wise, as one example), I don’t know if it’s for me anymore. Everything new that I’ve got planned (more details to come!) is exciting and friggin’ terrifying at the same time.
Since we’re leaving for our annual New Years’ Eve family dinner in approximately 4 minutes and I have yet to brush my teeth, here’s my summary for what I have learned from 2008:
There will always be tough times & things to worry or freak out about - and with my personality, I’ll probably magnify each time about 29,000 times worse than need be - but there will always be those great times that are staples. Like big family parties and upcoming weddings (I’m going to be a bridesmaid in Sara & TJ’s wedding on September 5!!!) and Comic Con and beach trips and Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years. And the fact that I finally got Jay to start reading “Harry Potter” last night. And those are nice things to always have, no matter how shitty things may seem. Life is livable.
Posted by Colleen on Jan 7, 2007 in
Brian Verderosa,
Cassidy Zammit,
Chris Golio,
Friends,
Good times,
Ian Topping,
Jen Logan,
Memories,
New Years,
Reflecting/emo
Ah, New Year’s Eve. My favorite holiday after Halloween. After the traditional NYE dinner with my entire family in Syosset, I picked up Golio from the Hicksville train station (after waking him up at like 8pm & ordering him to get on the next train without choice). We dropped my car off at home. Christie drove us Danny Rittereiser’s (Ritz) new abode on Bradley Dr. As much as I wanted to go into the city with Julia & Allison or party with Claudio, Frankie & Jenna Collins in Brooklyn, it was really nice to actually have something around the block for once.
Cassidy Jill & Ian-face were already there. It was a lot of Longwood kids that we never actually hung out with while in hs, so it was slightly awkward. Brian & Jen got there about an hour later. With our group complete (minus Claudio & Frankie), we had a good time. I got home around 4:30am & was up around 7:30am, completely awake. Golio, Katelyn & her friend were downstairs on the couches so I just ended up watching 24 on DVD, reading & taking a shower. I dropped Golio back off in Hicksville & then went to a diner in Syosset for our other annual tradition, which was brunch/resolutions. Later, Uncle Lou, Kate & I went to see Night at the Museum. I enjoyed it.
On a more introspective note, 2006 was a really strange, confusing, emotional year of change. I started it feeling very alone in general (fighting with Julia & Brian, bitter about feeling underappreciated in MCCTA, etc.), then had the whole 3 month acid reflux issues (medically, bc of a hernia, but I still think it was from the extremely, extremely stressful 1st semester I had last year, capped off by Uncle Emilio’s sudden death & the toll that took on my entire family), then feeling frustrated over capping & fighting, then being brought out of it all bc of Children’s Theatre (what I’ll miss the most), Festival (which wouldn’t have been nearly as much fun if it wasn’t for all the nights of “bonding” at Eddie’s, Catchphrase, vodka in the green room, all the ridiculousness our cast did onstage as far as improv, causing ourselves & each other to break character, the cast parties & that awesome fucking Sheila dress) & of course, Banquet. Such an emotional time. Then the indescribable feeling of graduation, the confusing, insecure summer which lead to me not acting like myself til Sept when my feelings were hurt further through a very passive aggressive message (though I admit I brought a lot of it on from my own immature behavior, which resulted from the confusion & insecurity I allowed myself to give into; it’s a cycle, really). Anger caused me to snap out of it, but I was mad at the universe bc I was once again feeling alone, sad, self-destructive & insecure when months earlier I was feeling like it was all coming together. I hate hate hate who I am when I’m like that, because I’m not like that. The last 3 months of 2006 were spent being miserable over still living on LI, not having a real job & slaving away at Ann-fucking-Taylor with the virginal Jesus freaks who talk shit about everyone but smile to their faces. But that was 2006. 2007 is going to be so much better. It has to be. I’m right. The end.
When Tricia & I went to visit CJ for her 21st & then to Baltimore to visit her dad, it was right after the Children’s Theatre’s Liquid Lunch, which was absolutely the defining moment for me in terms of “it’s going to be gone soon.” Brian Sabella & I at one point, after successfully planning it 2 years in a row, looked at each other & said, “This is the last time we’re doing this. It’s not supposed to be the last time. How did this happen?” That’s when I started crying in the middle of Toucan’s, bc I just knew that everything I built for myself was going to be gone, just like that. So in Baltimore, I was in a melancholy place. I remember laying awake & thinking, “Is life going to get better?” And then came Festival, Banquet, Riverfest, our awesome magazine for capping, Yuck & Senior Week and…it did. And I’m so glad that it did, bc if I ended my time at Marist feeling that for once, I had nothing to complain about, I could hold onto everything that makes a person content with life & take great memories with me, even if none of it would be there afterwards. At least I left with a smile. And though I can be a depressive bitch, I’m generally a positive person bc I know that for every friend you fight with, every bad grade you get, every person that fucks you over, every melodrama, every stressful all-nighter trying to balance everything, every argument over buying toilet paper, there’s going to be a moment where it all comes together, that makes you forget about everything that bothers you. And those are the moments that make it all worth it.
That said, here’s pictures from NYE at Ritz’s house, Casa de Bradley:
At the start of the night. Thursday’s haircut was not a moment too soon.
Silly, Ian, you can’t stop it so just don’t try to fight it…
…Nope, he may be 1 hr & 52 minutes-ish older than me, but I still showed him, ha.
Some of the gang: CJ, Golio, Ian-face, Jen, Brian.Thankful for what each of them taught me this past year.
In the words of Ms. Roxie Hart: “These are my boys.” 
Ah, Golio. Oh, look. It’s the Chris Golio fashion shoot. Awesome.
I love Ian-face, birthday buddy & prom date extraordinaire.
Poor Jen & Brian just wanted to play beer pong, after waiting through the world’s longest game to get on the table (even Brian Sabella would have wanted to kill himself waiting for this game to end)…
…but CJ only really wanted to play with the dog. Typical. Doesn’t she have like, 12 dogs at home that she doesn’t pay attention to? jk
Goodbye, 2006. Hello, 2007.
Posted by Colleen on Jan 1, 2007 in
Good times,
New Years,
Reflecting/emo,
Top 10 I’m freaking wiped from last night’s festivities so rather than be all reflective or talk about the fun of the past week, I’m just going to do my very own Top 10 list of my favorite posts from 2006. Granted, this probably means nothing to anyone but me, but I really don’t care. So here’s my picks for the “Best of” of my silly little blog; the posts that I like the most for various reasons:
- Don’t Burn the Day - Oct. 3
- There’s Always the Next - Oct. 21
- Road Trip, Day 6 - Part 2: Trish, Coll & Jack Do Nashville - Nov. 24
- Over-analytical Depressive Fuckers Make Good Music - Dec. 13/Damien Rice: Part Duex - Dec. 15
- Between my fist & my Pollyanna flower - Dec. 23
- Even Old Women Talk About Sex - Oct. 18
- Enough about me, let’s talk about you for a minute - Dec. 28
- Caught a train to Poughkeepsie & time stood still - Oct. 7
- Road Trip, Day 5 - Part 1: The Road to Nashville - Nov. 21
- You Know How I Know Phil’s Gay? - Oct. 15
Oh-so-close:
Happy New Year, anyone reading this! Shanti. I’m going to read a little more & hopefully go to bed by 10pm. Back to work tomorrow…
It’s hard to believe that it’s Dec. 20 already. It does NOT feel like Christmas is 5 days away AT ALL. I realized this last week & figured out why:
For the last 17 years of my life, Christmas time basically was characterized with everything winding down. School projects, tests, classes ending, teachers/professors/bus drivers/etc. giving out candy canes, holiday parties, all that stuff. But now, everything’s just going on the same as it’s been. Seriously, not being in school & still living at home while working at damn Ann Taylor really feels like I’m on perpetual summer vacation. It’s just strange. It really doesn’t feel like Christmas. I miss Marist.
P.S. Since Bobby’s not having his annual New Years Eve party for the first time since forever, I have no clue what I’m doing for the first time since forever. So if anyone has any ideas they want to shoot my way, let me know. I think I have to house/dog sit for my aunt in Mt. Sinai again cause she’s going to visit people in Buffalo for a few days, but I’m open for suggestions. I wish I could do that open bar Julia & Allison are doing in the Village, but it’s waaaaay expensive & I know I’m going to have to end up working on New Years Day.
12.20.83-5.17-98
*Nothing ever so common*)
