Okay, so the gorgeous Allison has requested I make a new blog post so that she doesn’t have to see my bloody finger anymore and I kinda think she’s right! So lucky for Ali and the rest of you tired of looking at my mangled claw, I’ve got an announcement:

I’m moving to Raleigh in the middle of February!

My last day of work is February 4 (a Wednesday) and my birthday is Sunday, February 8. I also found out as I got home tonight that Brian & Bobby got tickets to see “The Daily Show” on February 9, so I am going to go with them and then drive down to Raleigh that week and try to find a job, etc. I’ll couch hop with Jay and Sara & TJ and who knows maybe Clif’ll let me crash for a night. At least the slumber party will distract me from the absolute terror I have about finding a job haha. I told my bosses at work and although I was scared to do it, I was really more just sad in general. It’s a nice place to work and they’re really good bosses and I like the people I work with so it’s kinda like I’d be losing more friends.

But anyway.

I’m really excited and really scared. I’m excited because I think that it’ll be a great new chapter of my life but I’m scared about finding a new job. I accepted back in 2007 when I decided that if it came to it, I’d be the one to move that it would mostly mean giving up 90% chances of ever having a job in the fields that I have my degree in (Communications with focuses in Journalism & PR as well as a minor in English & Theatre). I worry too much and I think too much. And nothing is or will EVER be as beautiful as New York City and that’s a fact. BUT I like Raleigh and even though it’s clear that I will really want to end up back in NY someday, I cannot wait to start a new life there.

I’m just going to miss my friends. I’ll miss Cassidy (bitch moved back from North Carolina as I was moving there), Tricia, Julia, Amanda, Amanda, Ali, Ian, Brian, Claudio, Randy, Anthony, Joe & Steph, Eddie, Bobby, and everyone around here that I know I’m not mentioning (forgive me). I’ll miss the BTR crew, Annie & Jeff & Max & Maia and all of our mid-day margaritas. I’ll miss Yankee games with Angri & Sabella & Storey. I’ll miss my dog Strider. But most importantly I’ll miss my family: my parents, sisters, grandparents, aunt, uncle, cousin. Just as way excited as I am to move, I’m just as sad that I won’t get to see them whenever I want to anymore. I know that this post sounds somewhat shaky but I made this decision with both my heart and my head and I’m certain that it’s the right one.

It’s gonna be a big adjustment and I’m really gonna need a lot of support from all sorts of places.

Oh, and I’m gonna need a job if anyone’s hiring…

California in a few hours! I don’t think I officially explained this:

Tricia’s moving back to Coram while Clayton’s finishing his last 6 months stationed in Japan. Sooooo I’m flying out there & then we’re driving back across country with her stuff. I think we’re leaving Tues afternoon, going to Vegas (yippee!) on Tues night since it’s only 2 hours from her soon-to-be-ex-apartment. Then we’re driving through the southern states Wednesday til whenever we’re finished, making stops for her to visit family in Tennesee/Louisiana & going to Lookout Mountain(?) in Tenn. We’re gonna drive up the east coast, (maybe visiting harassing Cassidy at UNC?) then I believe spending the last night at her dad’s apartment in Baltimore. Sooooo in case anyone other than my dog Strider is going to really miss me, we’re going to aim to do it in about 5 days, so fear not. I may or may not post from the road, since I need to check my email as I still foolishly hold out hope that perhaps I’ll hear from some place I’ve applied & magically have a real job waiting for me when I get back. Oh, sweet daydream.

Went to Potown last night to see my MCCTA bitches do one of my all-time favorite shows, Crazy For You (Colleen trivia: the 1st show I ever saw on B’way, was in it years ago; one of the resaons I love the the-at-re). The house was nearly sold out & they did a fantastic job. Mark gets the rockstar award for producing it completely on his own, without a co- or asst prod. Mole Mole got new, clean menus, which sort of ruined the Mexican atmosphere of the joint. Amanda, Sabella, Julie, Julia, Donoghue & I represented the alumn. Speranza got the hottest new haircut & as usual, Rachel was her kickass self. Phil got skinny, so he probably tastes pretty good right now. Yeah, I think I covered it all.

Finally, for your viewing pleasure, I have a picture of one Ian “Ian-face” Topping dressed as a himself in the real world! & one Joseph Matero dressed up as the Crow for Halloween. My mom offering to help him paint his nails black was slightly disturbing, but probably not as disturbing as it was for Joe to walk into my house as I’m straigthening my hair with the Rocky Horror soundtrack BLASTING, obnoxiously singing along, slightly oblivious to the fact that I’ve got company. Why do I ramble so incessantly all the time? Here’s the picture:

StamosIsLife: Finishing up packing for Marist…

Oh wait, Im old.

You little bastards better enjoy it.

Muffin is right. Katelyn actually said to me the other night, “You know, it’s really scary that you graduated. I don’t like it. It makes me realize that it doesn’t last forever.” Damn right it doesn’t. I’m not going to get into it now cause it’s late, but sometimes you really don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone. But I was lucky. After a somewhat rough year (that had good moments, I’m not complaining), I had a very, very, very, very awesome last month of school. Starting with Festival then Banquet then Riverfest then Yuck then Senior week then Senior Formal then graduation; I feel incredibly lucky & blessed that I ended my time at Marist on such a high note.

I guess that’s why this has been such a frustrating summer for me. Some things that I wanted to last…didn’t and some things that I wanted to happen…haven’t. But that’s neither here nor there & this is not the time/place to analyze my summer. Maybe another time. Life is funny. I’m a very intense person but I’m an understanding person & not unforgiving. People never give me enough credit: I’m good at brushing things off my shoulders simply bc I don’t want the weight of being angry or hurt or hating someone/having them dislike me. It’s not worth it. Ok, shut up, Colleen. Just shut up.

Anyway, I did a first for me today: went to the beach by myself. Now, I absolutely love going to the beach but it’s been the one thing that I’ve never really considered doing before. I’ve seen movies by myself (working at a movie theater desensitizes you to that), eaten by myself (granted, not at a restaurant, but I’ve gone into places like Panera or Dunkin Donuts or Quiznos, etc al & eaten alone), i’ve sat at concerts by myself (even if I had friends who were there, just sitting in a different section - DMB @ SPAC 2003 for example) and i’ve gone to see plays alone. Bottomline: I don’t have a problem with a little ‘me’ time. Anyway, I’ve never considered going to the beach alone & especially this summer with certain ‘circumstances’ - so to speak - have caused me to always feel it necessary to have a beach buddy. Cassidy & Claudio have gone to the beach by themselves before & it’s quite relaxing & peaceful & gorgeous there, so it shouldn’t be a big deal at all. Soooo after an absolutely AMAZING day yesterday at the beach with Julia, Brian, Chris Golio, Ian face & Joe Matero, I decided I wanted to go again today. I woke up and it was gorgeous out so I thought to myself, “Self, just go do it.”

So I did. And I relaxed with a book then walked around for over an hour. Said a hello that wasn’t as awkward as I thought (I guess? from my POV but what do I know about anything?). Oh yeah - I also saw an old naked guy pissing into the ocean.

Basically, at Smith’s Point, if you go all the way down to the right, there’s a nude section. I remember walking down there in like 11th grade or something with either Claudio or Tricia or someone bc when you’re like 16, the idea of naked people at the beach is still funny. Anyway, I remembered it being alot further than it actually is. At first I was like, “Ok, that dude’s naked. Don’t stare, just walk a little bit further, it’s not crowded.” I’m an idiot but I didn’t feel like turning around and going back yet. So then I walk about 3 more minutes & see more saggy ballsacs. This time, I’m kinda getting the feeling (especially when I see some naked fat old lady) that it’s time to go back. The clincher was when I look up from finding a song on my newly created playlist & see some guy standing by the sea. “Ok, Colleen, don’t stare,” I say to myself. Then I notice that he’s NOT JUST STANDING THERE. NOPE. OLD GUY. NAKED. PISSING INTO THE ATLANTIC OCEAN.

Yup. That was great. I did not go swimming after I got back from my walk.

Ok, this post is long & I have to go find stories for StarkedNY.com for tomorrow since I have work at AT 3-close & I have to go back to the mall so shit’s gotta be done early. Thanks to everyone who’s been going there & reading it. I really, really appreciate it.

P.S. Snakes on a Plane was awesome. Just awesome. Audience participation. I got to say, “Oohh, what’s a trouser snake?” when the guy got bit in the crotch & Matero yelled out, “It’s a trouser snake!” My favorite part (other than *the* line) was some guy from the audience yelling, “Why isn’t William Shatner in this movie?!”
P.P.S. I’m going to put up videos from the Counting Crows concert as soon as I figure out how to load shit onto YouTube. Adam Duritz is fantastic.

*I finally unloaded like a month’s worth of pictures from my camera; this is one from Aug 2, when Danny & I went with Brian to his gig in Hartford. We met up with Bri’s friend, Tim, watched Brian play, then stayed up all night playing in Tim’s pool, drinking & then having an insane game of “Never Have I Ever.” But to kick off the night - aka Happy Hour - Brian bought us all pints. Look how tiny I am next to Danny & the pint haha.