Open post day!
I feel ‘meh’ and people on Twitter keep saying they agree with me so let’s all commiserate together and therefore make ourselves feel better. I’ll go first:
Wedding planning blows and there’s way too much drama surrounding finding a place and setting a date and whether or not I can actually invite more than 3 damn friends.
Your turn! Group therapy.
I had 185 people at my wedding, my husband were only allowed about 15 friends. My MIL tacked on 40 people during the last count, adding thousands to our bill of people that just had to be invitied (her friends). The guest list and the seating chart were the most stressful parts of the wedding. My husband and I got married in college. I will say years later, that I don’t see all the friends anymore, but I do have to see all the relatives so I guess I am glad I invited them.
I was young and my Godmother was a wedding planner. I had a wonderful wedding, but I got bulldozed into having the wedding my parents wanted and not the wedding I wanted. The night of the wedding was so crazy and we were so busy we didn’t even get to have fun at our own wedding.
Stick to your guns where it counts and give in on the little things. I definitely wish I had taken more control. If I had to do it over, I would set a number of guests, give the parents 75% of the list and take 25% for my own friends. The problem is that the person paying for the wedding usually gets their way.
You are not alone Colleen, we’ve all been through it. I kind of wish I had a destination wedding instead, kept it to immediate family, close friends and used the money on a down payment for a house. The wedding flies by so quickly. But being Catholic, not much chance of a destination wedding anyway. If you are Catholic, have fun at the classes they make you take, which are very boring. It involved a lot of filling out forms and talking in groups.
All that being said, pick out all the things you have liked about weddings you have gone too, and write them down. You’ll start to see a pattern and will be able to figure out what is important to you. Ultimately the reception all comes down to a good band or dj, and a great menu.
Good luck. Remember it is your day!
One more thing, because we could only invite about 15 friends, we got around it by having a huge wedding party, I had a maid of honor and six bridesmaids, my husband had his best man and 6 groomsmen. Your family can’t really deny you your picks for the wedding party right? You have to be sneaky sometimes. Plus don’t feel like you have to invite your work friends. I wasted my time doing that and I haven’t seen one of those people since I stopped working there.
Yeah, we’re Catholic so we’re having the wedding in a church then the reception somewhere else afterwards. Thank you so much for the insight. I really appreciate you taking the time to write all that out and offer some advice on top of it. I’m sure that I’ll be constantly updating people on what’s going on and we are having champagne on whatever damn day the reception is booked to celebrate!
When we were planning our wedding we fought so much, couldn’t get parents to agree to what they’d contribute or give guest counts, etc… that we finally canceled the wedding. Three months later my fiance was like ‘what are we going to do?’ So we planned it ourselves, let the priest pick any date he was available 6 weeks out, told NO ONE but his dad because we wanted to have the reception at his house afterwards (I planned for something very small, just cake & drinks). I mailed the invites 3 weeks ahead of time to only our immediate family and best friends. 30 people in all were invited. I bought a wedding dress at a resale shop for $350 and printed our invites on my computer at home. We probably did it for less than $1000, and my parents gave us what they would have spent on the wedding for a downpayment on a house. At it happened, my father-in-law catered the event, so it was much more elegant than I had anticipated for a Thursday evening wedding. Regardless, we did our way, without the stress, and we’d do it again in a heartbeat.
As for my turn: my 13 yr old dog, Phoebe, has been coughing for a while and last Monday I took her to the vet to find that she’s got a tumor in her lung the size of her heart. The vet gave her 30-60 days, but I think he knew she had less time because he only gave me 30 pills for her cough and I can give them to her 2-4x a day. Let’s do THAT math…. it’s pretty clear that she’s going downhill fast, and then my husband made me “The Reality Check”, which means I’m the one to make the decision. With my other dog I knew when it was time, but with Phoebe, I just don’t. Last week I was fine with it, she’s old, she’s had a great life and a good family. This week, not so much. What a freaking bummer.
We picked a restaurant that had a balcony overlooking waterfalls, figured it would make some beautiful wedding photos, but it poured the day of the wedding and our whole plan fell apart.
There are some things that are going to drive you insane.But in the end it is all about the little moments. I still remember being so nervous that I kept trying to put the wedding band on my husband’s right hand and I couldn’t understand why he kept pulling my hand away till he told me what I was doing wrong. The moment we were “man and wife” walking down the aisle. My dad crying during our dance together. He passed away about 10 years ago, but I’ll always treasure that moment when he “let me go to live my new life”. Don’t get lost in the details and miss out on the magic of the day.
I’m impressed by your wedding story, Kim! As for Phoebe, I cannot express enough how sorry I am. My family went through the same thing last year with our dog when he got sick with heart disease so suddenly.
So sorry about your wedding drama Colleen! I wish I had a wedding story to tell but my life is quite the opposite at the moment.
Kim, sorry to hear about Phoebe.
As for me, I am majorly stressed at the moment, I’m moving interstate in 3 weeks, breaking up with my bf of 8.5 years, starting a new job, it’s all too much as I get overwhelmed far too easily. Plus I think I am starting to come down with something so I feel like crap at the moment too.
I was the one on formspring who said I went on anxiety medicine before the wedding. It was really stressful for me, the whole wedding planning, moving out of my parents house and bridal party!!!
I lived with my parents till I got married. I was a sort of on the young side too when I got married (22) and just sort of freaked out that I would have to do adult stuff. The wedding party was such a problem I ended up just having my sister as my maid of honor and that was it.
But once the planning was done I had a few months before just to enjoy the wedding day stuff. I stayed on the medicine till the day of the wedding just in case I freaked out again.
It all worked out though it always does. Just remember that and try to find time to enjoy this time!
Do what my wife and I did, get married on a cruise. We got married on board before we set sail, just us and our two daughters as flower girls. Then when we got back, we rented a small movie theatre and made a slide show of our vacation with our wedding video that we showed on the big screen. We even made PowerPoint trailers and sent movie tickets to invite guests. It was awesome! (if I do say so myself
)
Elope. :] then save money and have a super HUGE wedding and invite all your family, friends, and fans! = great idea!!
… and although I may not have adult drama yet, but college drama sucks! And i can’t wait to graduate!
school sucks. end of discussion.
Wow Krissy you have A LOT on your plate right now! Big hug for you and congratulations on the new job
That’s still exciting, even if it must be so difficult to leave everything behind 
Kari, Thank you for sharing your story, too. I feel a lot better today, mainly because I didn’t do a lot of wedding thinking because work was so busy lol. Was it all worth it?
Trevor, I totally wish that I could do that but it definitely wouldn’t work. You guys are my heroes.
Shelby, college drama does suck. You’ll find after college that things’ll settle down. They did for me, at least. Good luck!
Colleen, it really was worth it all. Once the planning was done I got to just enjoy the idea and the anticipation. The wedding day was awesome and so much fun! I wouldn’t change a thing even the anxiety attacks i had before hand
I think that once we get a hall and a date, everything will calm down a lot because I’m fairly easy-going about what other decisions have to be made and I think that my choices of colors and what not will work out just fine.