Okay so here’s what happened to me and Jay at church this afternoon (it’s Good Friday) :

Mass was about an hour and 25 minutes long.  We were sitting in the very back next to a younger couple with their son, who was about 2 years old.  The kid was adorable.  Though about 35 minutes into the mass, there was a terrible smell.  I turned to Jay & asked, “Was that you?!”

“No, not me. I think that little kid shit his pants,” Jay responded.

Yeah, it definitely smelled like that.

So about 5 or 6 minutes go by and then the kid starts to sing.  Loudly.  Finally, to the gratitude of all of our senses of smell, the little boy’s father picks him up and takes him outside.  Whew.

Well, the father returns about 6-8 minutes later without the little boy.  I turn to Jay & I ask him, “Where’s the kid?!

So about 10 minutes later, the father whispers something to his wife and leaves.  My question to all of you creative, imaginative people out there:

Where the heck was the kid?!  He was literally 2 years old and he had just crapped his pants and was taken outside as he was singing, so it’s not as though he fell asleep during church!  We joked that he was “disposed of” for messing up, but what can you come up with?!

P.S. I am just got home to NY til Sunday for Easter.  I dropped a pretzel on the floor before and said to myself, “Oh damnit!  I have to pick that up before the dog gets it!”  Then I realized that I don’t have a dog anymore and well, it was a sad moment.  The end.